Be My Golden Valentine

It’s my 14th year snail-mailing out some love to celebrate the 14th of February. (Anyone else call it a “golden” holiday when the day and year matches up? Like if your birthday is on the 20th, your twentieth birthday would be your “golden birthday”? Just me? OK then, moving on.)

I had debatably a little too much fun creating this year’s valentine with one of my all-time favorite designers and friends, Jess Broom. As you can see below, it got a little weird. But you know what? I’M weird. And I got probably the biggest reaction out of this year’s card than any previous one I’ve done. That makes me happy, but it also taught me a lesson…

Lesson Learned

Despite the overwhelmingly positive response from this year’s card (see just a few of my fave responses below), there was one person who did not find it funny. At all. Granted, it all turned out to be a misunderstanding and we’re good as gold—CALLBACK!—now. But I was devastated to learn that one of my most beloved clients and collaborators had recently received actual hate mail with legitimate threats, and my card triggered a very real fear response in them. This person initially didn’t remember my full name since I often go by my initials EB in professional settings, so they thought some rando was sending them the card as a promotion. When I first read their email, my heart dropped into my butt and I felt like my face was on fire. I can’t even describe how upset I was.

Instead of rushing to defend the card and it’s creative merit, I sat in the discomfort of my misstep for a moment. I wanted to put myself in their shoes and empathize. Then I responded with a sincere apology, validation of their feelings and a promise not to mail them anything again. No defense. Because hey, if this hurt someone, that’s not cool. It doesn’t matter what the intention was.

Moments after sending my response, this person wrote back—realizing who I was—and couldn’t have been more gracious. It was just a matter of REALLY bad timing for the concept of this year’s card. They acknowledged that they do, in fact, know me as the playful weirdo that I am, that my work has been transformative for their brand, and that they want to stay on my mailing list. Whew. It took several hours for my heart rate to come back to normal, but I got there eventually.

This whole situation made me realize the power of polarizing messages. I often tell my clients: “If nobody hates it, nobody will really love it either.” And I still stand by that perspective. This annual valentine is a personal expression and a way for me to stay top-of-mind with all my incredible contacts and colleagues. But brands don’t only try to appeal to current customers. They have to attract and engage new ones in order to grow. Messaging, ideas, design and tactics that are provocative (NOTE: I am NOT saying “offensive”) are what move the needle. Not safe stuff. Not beige.

So, to anyone reading this, I first wish you a very happy Valentine’s Day. And second, I wish you the courage to be bold. Don’t be afraid to stand out. Every concept isn’t going to appeal to every customer. But if you’re lucky, the one’s who hate it actually just forgot your name.